


Stiles, the Human Incubator/ Submarine (if He Goes Underwater)

by orphan_account



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski Mpreg, Derek Loves Stiles, Derek and Stiles are Mates, Derek is adorable, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Isaac Lahey is a Little Shit, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Mpreg, Overprotective Derek, SO MUCH FLUFF, Sourwolf Derek Hale, Stiles Loves Derek, Wolf Derek Hale, derek is the sweetest husband ever, lots of fluff, possesive derek, stiles is a wreck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 20:11:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3622698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles thought Deaton was joking about the cool looking plant that could 'go against the laws of the universe'. He wasn't.</p><p> </p><p>or</p><p>Stiles is newly, accidentally pregnant and emotional, and Derek is the sweetest, most over protective mate that ever existed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stiles, the Human Incubator/ Submarine (if He Goes Underwater)

Lots of problems, fighting, and other nonsense occurred during their mateship and marriage, but they would always make it up to each other and apologize for being assholes. They both have their flaws – Derek gets too protective and clingy. Stiles goes for the low blows when they fight and reference mistakes Derek’s made and threatens to leave him. It makes Derek whine pitifully, and Stiles regrets it every time, especially because Derek clings onto him then, like he would actually even CONSIDER it. Stiles has to thump Derek’s forehead a lot. 

“Derek, there’s… There’s something I need to tell you. Please don’t get mad!”

Derek turns to him, putting the block of wood down. Stiles called him ‘Derek’. It’s serious. Stiles sits down on the swinging bench Derek built for him for Christmas one year. Derek follows, trying not to let in all the bad possibilities in his head. 

“Look, this… You’re… Just… Please listen, Derek,” Stiles says, his eyes on the dirt. “Please don’t be angry,” he whispers, looking up at Derek with tears in his eyes. Why was Stiles crying? Derek doesn’t understand what’s happening, but his face softens when he sees Stiles so upset. Stiles never cries. Emotional, sure, but it’s rare that he cries. 

“I made a mistake,” Stiles said, his voice shaking. 

Derek can’t help the snarl and growl that comes from him. “Did you have sex with someone else?” he knows his eyes are red, and it’s not fair, like Stiles always says, but he doesn’t care. 

Stiles’ eyes go wide, “No! No, Derek, I swear, I didn’t cheat on you...”

Derek pulls Stiles into him, breathing in his neck to stay calm. Good, he thinks. _I’d have to kill someone._

“What it is, love?”

“I didn’t think it would – it was a joke – I thought Deaton - You can never tell with that guy! I didn’t think it would actually work, I didn’t mean to-“

“Stiles,” Derek kisses his lips to stop the rambling. “You can tell me.”

“I’… I’m a human incubator!”

Derek blinks. “What?”

“I’m a submarine! A human submarine if I go swimming!” he cried out. Derek calmed his mate, running his fingers through Stiles’ hair, not liking the spike in his heartbeat. 

“Stiles, I don’t understand what you’re saying. Calm down. I won’t be mad,” he winced at that. He shouldn’t promise things he doesn’t know he can keep. 

“I’m pregnant!”

It’s not the usual way people say it. Usually, they’re excited to announce it, bouncing on the balls of their feet. But Stiles? Stiles is sobbing now, anxiety rolling off him in waves. Derek tried to breathe through his mouth. 

Pregnant?

Stiles?

“Stiles, I need you to explain a little more than that,” he whispered soothingly, rubbing his mate’s back. 

“I was hanging out with Deaton one day, and I asked what something was because it looked cool and he said, ‘that’ll make you pregnant Stiles,’ and I didn’t – I thought it was a joke, Derek! A joke! It wasn’t! I thought – how can guys get pregnant? That’s not genetically possible and I…. I’m sorry! I’ve ruined everything.”

Derek tried to keep an open mind. 

“How do you know you’re pregnant?” Derek asked. 

“I took pregnancy tests,” he replied in a low voice. “I just felt something change, and I thought, what if he’s serious, so I went to the store a week ago and bought some and now…”

“It’s okay, Stiles. We’ll figure this out. Don’t be upset, I love you, and I always will. We can talk to Deaton about this.”

. . .

Stiles was relatively normal for most of the gestation period, after deciding to keep the baby, (he and Derek thought about it for a week) but occasionally, had his fits. 

“I’m a whale!”

“You’re not a whale.”

“I’m a big, fat orca whale!”

“Stiles, love, you have another person inside of you.”

“That’s typically what pregnancy means, Derek,” glared Stiles, crossing his arms. 

“Well, if you weren’t… It wouldn’t be healthy for the baby to be smaller. No one thinks you’re fat. They think you’re brave and amazing for carrying another life inside your body.”

“They do! I bet they all talk about me behind my back. ‘Have you seen how fat Stiles is lately?’ ‘Yeah what a loser, I’ve always hated him!’” he mimicked, then his eyes welled up, “They hate me, they all hate me! I’m fat and ugly and everyone hates me!”

Derek wanted to laugh at Stiles’ outburst, but thankfully had the sense not to. 

“You think I’d let _anyone_ get away with calling my mate names?”

Stiles burbled and incoherent response. 

“If anyone so much as stares at you for too long, I’ll rip their throat out. How’s that?” 

Stiles looked up at him with awe and love, “You’d do that for me?”

“Of course.”

“I love you,” Stiles said clinging onto his arm. A few minutes later, as they headed out the door, Stiles mumbled, “Just growling will do for now. But if someone does call me an orca, then you can rip out their throats.”

. . .

“You don’t love me!” screeched Stiles, another day. Derek frowned at Stiles’ unsteady heartbeat and rolls of stress, anxiety, and sadness coming off him. 

“Stiles, what’s wrong?” 

“I’m pregnant and horrible and you hate me and you’re ashamed of me!” 

“Stiles, you’re being ridiculous. You know I love you.”

“You think I’m repulsive! You’re embarrassed to be seen with me!” Stiles’ voice was watery, and oh shit, Derek had to put a stop to this quickly. 

“Baby, what do you want me to do?”

“Go marry fucking Nina!”

“Nina? Who’s that?”

“You _would_ want to know! I hate you!” screamed Stiles, and it would’ve hurt, but Derek easily spotted that lie. He sighed. 

“I don’t understand why you’re upset, Stiles.”

It was quiet for a minute, “I’m not crazy!”

“I know you’re not, baby.” The door made a clicking noise as it unlocked, and Stiles stood in the shadowy doorway. “Will you tell me what’s wrong?”

“I’m afraid you’ll want someone better than me, and I can’t compete with anything,” Stiles miserably said, his head against Derek’s shoulder. 

“Who else would I want? You’re carrying my cub, Stiles, and I love you.”

“I know, I’m being an insecure jealous mess. I’m sorry, it’s not fair,” Stiles said, staring Derek in the eyes, and he knew he loved his mate for a reason. “And I’m taking it out on you and the delivery girl.”

Oh, thought Derek. That’s who this ‘Nina’ person was. Stiles was honestly so ridiculous sometimes.

“It wouldn’t be fair if you had to carry a werewolf in your belly for nine months but didn’t get to complain every now and then. You’re eating for two, sleeping for two, walking for two, and having emotions for two.”

Stiles brought Derek’s hand to his stomach, under the sweater. Derek loved feeling Stiles’ swollen stomach, but Stiles only let him touch it sometimes. Now was one of those times and he relished.  
. . .

“I want to go do something!” Stiles whined on a Saturday, clearly bored. 

“What do you want to do?”

“Let’s go bowling,” Stiles suggested, “invite the whole pack.”

Derek frowned. “Stiles,” he said softly, a gentle warning. 

“I’m tired of being Rapunzel, Derek. No one is going to notice, can we please do something? Please?”

“Stiles, it’s too dangerous. Someone could see you. You’re very distinguishable now, honey.”

Stiles stared at him like he had insulted _star wars._

“Excuse you? Did you just imply I’M TOO FAT TO GO OUTSIDE?’

“Stiles, you know that isn’t what I said.”

“It’s not fair! I don’t want to be here anymore! I’m sick of it! I hate this! I hate this stupid baby!”

Derek gaped. Stiles usually loved the baby. Derek had heard Stiles talking to many times, reading stories, just loving the baby in general and rubbing his stomach like the baby could feel it. 

“You don’t mean that,” Derek said gently, and, boy, was that the wrong thing to say. 

“I _do_ mean that, Derek. It’s taking over my life! We’re going to have to have this thing for eighteen years! And then the rest of it’s or our lives – whichever ends first!”

“Stiles, calm down, you’re getting stressed again. It’s not good for you.”

“You mean it’s not good for _the baby_. That’s all you care about now! The baby this, the baby that! I bet as soon as I have this stupid fetus cut out of my stomach you’ll just get rid of me. That’s the only reason you want me here, don’t you?! So I can act as your fucking baby mama. You’re using me!”

Derek wondered how he got from ‘it’s not good for you’, to ‘you’re using me for my stomach’ in such quick time. Astounding, really. 

“You’re being dramatic, Stiles. You know that isn’t true.”

“It _is_ true! I’m spending the night at Lydia’s tonight,” hissed Stiles, pulling out his phone and stomping his way to the bedroom. 

“Lydia?” he heard Stiles’ shaky voice from the bedroom.

“Stiles? Everything alright?”

“Derek and I had a fight. Can… Can I stay the night at yours?”

“Of course, sweetie. As long as you need.”

“You’re the best, Lydia.”

Derek accidentally shredded through part of the sofa with his claws. Stiles emerged down the stairs with a bag full of his stuff. 

“I know we’re fighting,” Derek said, meeting Stiles at the base of the stairs, “But can I please drive you?”

Stiles crossed his arms, “I can drive my –“

“I know you can, Stiles. But please let us pause until we get to Lydia’s house. I love you so, so much, and if something were to happen… I don’t think I could deal with that.”

Stiles just nodded, picking up his bag (with a look that said ask to carry the fucking bag, Derek, and see what happens) and heading down the stairs. 

The drive was silent, but the tension strong. Stiles hopped out as soon as the car stopped, Lydia already on the front porch waiting. 

“Stiles, inside, there’s food on the table, help yourself,” she rubbed his arm as he went complied, giving her a quick kiss on the side of her cheek. 

The door shut and Lydia looked at Derek. “What happened?”

“I don’t… I don’t know. He just freaked out, said I was using him for his baby carrying abilities and thought I was going to ditch him after the baby comes out.”

Lydia snorted, “That kid really doesn’t have a clue, does he?”

Derek shared a tiny smile with her. “No. Thanks, Lydia. I’m sorry to put you on the spot like this.”

“Please,” she scoffed, “You know we’d all do anything for Stiles. Besides, Aiden is out any I need some company, anyways –“

“FUCK yeah, mangoes! I fuckin’ love mangoes.” he vaguely heard Stiles cheer from inside the house. Derek couldn’t help but smile a little. 

“Don’t worry about him. I’ll call you in the morning when he’s on his way back. If he makes it that long,” snorted Lydia. 

Derek turned around to leave but stopped before he got to the car. “Lydia?”

“Hm?”

“If you inappropriately touch my husband, I will rip your fucking head off.”

Lydia rolled her eyes, “You got it, wolfman. It’s totally _not_ like I have a boyfriend or anything.”

Derek trusted Lydia, he really did. It was Stiles under the influence of hormones, he wasn’t so sure about. Not that Stiles would cheat, per say, but… Derek didn’t like the thought of anyone’s hands on his pregnant mate. 

He sighed to himself in the car, getting ready to leave when he heard. It couldn’t really be considered eaves dropping, could it?

_“What’s up, Stiles?”_

_“I don’t deserve him. He’s so good to me and I’m horrible to him. All I do is weigh him down. He doesn’t go out anymore because of me. I’m Rapunzel, Lydia, and he’s the fucking chameleon. He doesn’t want me to have to be alone so he tortures himself, too.”_

_“And?”_

_“So I wanted him to have tonight to himself.”_

_Stiles made them get into a fight? For that reason? Stiles, are you kidding me?_

_“Oh honey,” Lydia’s voice said after. “You stupid idiot.”_

_“Lydia, I can’t just let someone do that.”_

_“He loves you. He’s more than happy to do it.”_

_“That’s what I don’t get. Why? I’m so useless now. All I do is complain and eat food and sleep. He’s in hell right now, Lydia. He probably despises me. We haven't had sex in months, Lydia. Months.”_

_"Okay, ew. And if he despises you, he wouldn’t have stayed around this long, darling.”_

_“That’s why I thought he was using me for the baby.”_

_“Stiles it is a good thing you’re pretty, you absolute walnut.”_

_“I’m not stupid, nor a walnut.”_ It was quiet, and Stiles was probably eating again. He turned on the car and heard one last thing before he drove away.

_“Lydia?”_

_“Hm?”_

_“Have you ever noticed how pretty Derek’s eyes are?”_

 

Stiles made breakfast the next morning in apology – though Derek knew he wasn’t sorry at all. Stiles thought he was doing Derek a solid, or something. Derek straightened it out. 

“Come on,” Derek said, standing up as Stiles chewed his last piece of bacon. Stiles sluggishly rose from his seat, his eyes narrowed. “I have something to show you.”

Derek helped Stiles shrug into the huge trench coat that did a mediocre job of hiding Stiles’ stomach. Stiles looked at him with curiosity and suspicion. Even more so when Derek led him to the car. In daylight. Broad daylight. 

Sure, there wasn’t really anyone around, but Stiles kept close to Derek, looking over his shoulder like the paranoid person he was.

“Derek, where are we going?” Stiles frowned, unused to leaving the house in the day. At all. It had been almost a month since he got too big to pass off as chubbiness. Derek just smiled at him. “You’re being creepy. I don’t know how I feel about this.”

The rest of the ride was long for both of them, Derek trying to shut Stiles up, who kept asking ‘where are we going? Tell me! Please? I just want to know. I promise I’ll act surprised or whatever. Derekkkk’.

Derek didn’t crack. Stiles huffed, practically bouncing in his seat by the time they got there. Derek knew it was partially because he had to pee. Again. He led Stiles out of the passenger seat, holding his arm steadily. Stiles was already clumsy. Add another five pounds on his stomach? Even worse. Derek was worried out of his mind. He was pretty sure he his hair was turning grey. 

“Cover your eyes,” he commanded, and Stiles did. Derek was sure he was peeking, but it was okay. He opened the door, leading Stiles in. “Okay.”

 

**“Surprise!”** Kira, Liam, Scott, Lydia and Isaac chorused. Stiles’ jaw dropped as he took in the surroundings. It was… A bowling alley. 

“Oh my god,” Stiles said quietly, before turning around and squeezing Derek into a tight hug (as much as he could, at least.) “I love you so much.”

Derek beamed.

“You guys…!” Stiles said, holding his arms out, “Bring it in, besties.” The pack carefully hugged Stiles, and he them, and it was the sweetest thing ever, Derek had to admit. “Isaac!” Stiles gleefully exclaimed. He threw his arms around his neck. Isaac looked somewhere between flattered and uncomfortable. Stiles ruffled his hair. 

The pack bowled in the entirely empty place; not even someone working behind the counter to get the shoes. Completely alone, just like Derek had requested. It was more than worth it to see Stiles so happy. And relieved. He threw the trench coat on the chair with a mumbled, “fuckin’ hate that thing’. 

“Ow, mother _fucker_!” hissed Stiles, half an hour into bowling, whom then proceeded to drop the bowling ball, leaning forwards. 

Everyone dropped what they were doing – literally, there was now two drinks and nachos on the floor - and rushed to Stiles’ side. “Stiles!”

And then, all at once: “What’s wrong?” “What happened?” “Are you okay? Oh my god!”

They managed to get him onto the crappy plastic chairs, careful with the precious cargo, all within twenty seconds. Derek was wolfed out into beta form, but if anyone noticed, they didn’t say anything. 

“I’m… Okay,” said Stiles through heavy breaths. “I’m alright.” No one looked convinced. “It’s really nice of you all to care, but stop looking at me like that,” he struggled to sit up, and Lydia pushed him back down. He sighed. “Listen to my heartbeat when I say: I am okay,” he said, touching Derek’s wolfy sideburns, as he liked to call them. Derek’s face shifted back to human.

The wolves backed off a little, though not taking their eyes off. They let Stiles sit up. Okay, Stiles fought to sit up, swatting everyone’s hands who tried to put him in the reclining position. 

“I think they kicked,” Stiles announced, staring at his stomach. 

“They?” Isaac said with alarm, “As in… More than one?”

Stiles rolled his eyes. “No. Just one, but I’m not going to call my fetus an ‘it’.”

Good, thought Derek. He truly hated it when Stiles called the baby an ‘it’. It made it sound like the baby was a Martian or something, like an object. The baby was a baby, maybe a boy, maybe a girl, but not an object. Stiles knew how Derek felt about that too, so he used gender neutral pronouns. 

“The baby kicked? Is that the first time?” Lydia quizzed, staring at his stomach like it might give her the answers to the universe. 

“Yeah, I think so,” Stiles said. “It wasn’t that bad,” – lie. “I was just…surprised.” 

The group nodded collectively, Scott going to fetch Stiles a water, and Kira following. Stiles shifted around in his seat. “Der? Can you help me up? I have to pee again.”

Derek supported Stiles by letting him hold onto his arm, even though he’d rather just carry Stiles, but it ‘wasn’t good for the baby’ or something. Stiles waddled to the bathroom, Derek going slowly to make sure he didn’t topple over. It happened sometimes.

“I hate that I have to sit down to pee now. I think my body is trying to change me into a woman. What if I were transgender, Derek? Would you be okay with that?” Stiles voiced his thoughts from inside a stall.

Derek’s eyebrows furrowed, “Of course. It’s your body, Stiles.”

Stiles made an ‘mm’ sound. “You’re so supportive. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“OH my god!” Stiles exclaimed again, and Derek was by the stall door, ready to kick it down in a heartbeat. The lock clicked and Stiles came out, “They’re kicking again! Holy crap! Come on, let’s go out there, I want to show everyone.”

Derek was sure that if it had happened a minute before, Stiles would’ve run across the bowling alley half naked because he was so excited. 

And that’s how they ended up crowded around, the entire pack’s hands on Stiles’ stomach. It was an awkward thirty seconds before the next kick, but when it happened, everyone gasped and cheered and squealed. 

“What’s wrong, Isaac?” Kira asked gently when he took his hands off, not able to hide his uncomfortable facial expression. 

“What? Nothing,” he quickly replied.

Stiles frowned, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah, fine.”

“Is there a problem?” Derek said, trying his best to remain gentle. It wasn’t his fault – Isaac was making his mate upset. He had a right to be angry. After all, Isaac ditched the pack without a goodbye and then just now, finally came back. 

“No, of course not. It’s just… I didn’t know about,” his eyes lingered on Stiles’ belly for a second. 

“Seriously? No one told him?” Lydia said in exasperation. Isaac smiled a little. 

“It’s just… Weird. I’d heard about the marriage, but this is even stranger than that, you know? _Pregnant_ Stiles is not what I was expecting when I got back to America. I didn’t even know it was possible. What happened? I knew we got into some pretty horrible things, but I didn’t think the supernatural world got _that_ fucked up.”

Derek’s nostrils were flooded with Stiles’ salty smell of tears, and surely enough, they were welled in his eyes. And Stiles was upset. Derek growled lowly. This was about everyone supposed to be accepting him here! Where he was _safe_ from people staring at his stomach and hiding himself. This was one of the only times he could go do something other than visit pack’s house and out into the real world. This was supposed to be his day!

When Stiles ‘subtly’ wiped his eyes on his sleeve, Derek snapped. He was ready to _lunge_ but Stiles caught his arm. 

“Oh,” Isaac guiltily looked at Stiles, “Shit. I’m sorry – “

“It’s okay, Isaac,” he said sadly, Derek’s nails dug into the plastic behind Stiles’ chair, leaving white scratch marks. Stiles was laughing and grinning just a few minutes ago. Now he wasn’t. Stiles shrugged, “I missed you while you were gone. We all did. I wish you didn’t leave.”

Isaac looked like accidentally dumped hot grease onto a puppy, “I know,” he mumbled. “But I’m here now, and I’m not going back to France.”

Derek growled again lowly, his other hand clenched around his fist so hard it started to bleed. Stiles caught on, grabbing his hand, uncurling it, and sighing. “Go,” he pointed towards the door. “Time out. Five minutes.”

Derek gave Stiles a look. 

“No. You know what you did. No growling at friends. We talked about this.”

“But – “

“NO but’s, Derek. You can come back inside once you’ve cooled off.”

Derek snarled at Stiles, but stood up and went outside to cool off, the fresh air hitting his face. 

“That was amazing,” Lydia’s amused voice sounded slightly muffled through the door. He had a feeling the others were nodding in agreement or something. 

Stiles sighed, “He does that every time I get emotional. It’s stupid on both our parts.”

“I’m sorry, Stiles, that I said that. I didn’t mean to offend you – “

“I know, Isaac. You were surprised. Men aren’t supposed to be pregnant, and here I am,” Stiles snorted, “I can’t imagine how surprised you must’ve been when you saw my fat ass stumbling through the door.”

Derek’s wolf hissed. Stiles was not fat, and if he were, it wouldn’t matter, but Stiles kept saying it like a bad thing. Stupid mate. 

He zoned out for a second, but then heard Stiles: “Come hither, young peasant, and feel the child that feeds from within.” It was quiet. Stiles probably rolled his eyes. “Give me your hand, stupid. It won’t bite you. Not yet anyways.”

Derek snarled again, accidentally chipping a part of the brick off the wall he clutched. It crumbled to the floor. Stiles was just going to let Isaac – the one who’d be gone for _years_ \- touch his stomach on his first time seeing him. He took _months_ to let Derek touch it. _Months_. And even now when he asks, Stiles is reluctant. Derek felt (un?) reasonable jealousy blossom at that. He _hated_ that Isaac was touching his mate and cub. It was different when Derek was around, but this time he wasn’t, and it was ONLY Isaac touching him. 

It took everything not to at least drag Stiles out of there. He had to remind himself that this was his mate’s day, and he couldn’t ruin it. Stiles hated it when Derek got too protective and close, even though that’s what all his instincts taught him to. Of course, Stiles loved cuddling and snuggling and hugging, but not as much as Derek craved. He had to hold himself back a lot from touching Stiles, whom liked space occasionally. 

“So this kid is Derek’s, right?” Isaac said after a minute. Derek would’ve smashed another brick or Isaac’s face, but Stiles’ reply steadied him. There was a thump, and an ‘ow’ from Isaac. 

“Yes, you stupid noodle-head.”

“Okay!” cried out Isaac defensively, and Derek pictured Stiles getting ready to thump him again, “I was just wondering! I think it’d be cool if your baby was a werewolf.”

“Yeah,” a few others chorused. “They’d be the first pack baby!”

“But – “ huffed Kira, “Even if they aren’t, Stiles, we’ll love them just as much, right guys?”

“Of course. And we can always give them the bite if they aren’t,” Lydia chuckled. 

“Lydia, you are asking to get hit.”

“The Stiles I know wouldn’t hit a girl,” Lydia teased.

“The Stiles you _knew_ wasn’t pregnant. I think that sort of makes me a girl.”

“That doesn’t make you a girl!” Scott protested. 

“Well then what makes someone a girl, Scotty?”

“I can think of a few things,” Scott replied carefully. 

“Okay, Lydia, what do you think? I mean, the reason girls have the body parts they do is for children, right? The uterus and the eggs and all that is for holding the child and then the boobs are basically milk bags that are enabled during pregnancy, right? So, I mean…”

“Stiles, the ability to carry a baby doesn’t make you a woman.”

“Okay, Lydia, that is so not what I meant. I have nothing against the LGBT community okay, I support transgenderism like a million percent. I AM the LGBT community, but the reason girls are girls is because of their bodies, that’s usually what classifies them.”

“But you have a dick, Stiles,” Liam said, who usually just leaned back and watch the conversations take off. 

“Well duh, but –“

“Wait – so if Stiles has a dick and can also carry babies, is he like a hermaphrodite?” Liam questioned again, apparently intrigued by this topic. 

“Wait… Does that – does that mean you can have your own babies?! That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard of!”

“Thanks for your enthusiasm, Scott, but I’d rather not try it. It’s weird enough as it is,” laughed Stiles. 

Derek did not appreciate this conversation. They were talking about Stiles’ genitals, and it made him unreasonably uncomfortable. He cringed, opening the door and walking back inside, trying to seem as calm as possible. And he wished everyone would stop thinking off it as taboo. It was what it was, and Derek loved his cub. 

Isaac straightened, but Derek didn’t say anything, just sat next to Stiles again, holding his hand and rubbing his face against Stiles’ hair in a passive aggressive display of affection that clearly read ‘this one is mine’. 

“Oh Derek, we’re talking about whether I’m a boy or girl or a hermaphrodite –“

“It doesn’t matter; you’re whatever you choose to be. I don’t care what you want to define yourself as, I’ll still love you.”

“Aw!” cooed Lydia sarcastically and Kira not. Stiles pinched Derek’s cheek.

“Can we order a pizza?” Stiles said after a minute of silence, and Derek pulled out his phone, giving Stiles a quick little kiss before placing an order, because he'd do anything for his mate. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it :) Please tell me if I should change the ratings or add tags or whatnot, and what you think!
> 
>  
> 
> (Changed the ending because it was rushed and a separate story that I sort of infused in here and I am sorry about that)


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